Monday, November 14, 2011

complan & ponds

Cat : How old are you?
Elephant : 5 year
Cat : But you are big
Elephant : I am a COMPLAN BOY
... Cat : I am 30 year
Elephant : But you look so
small.
.
Cat : PONDS AGE MIRACLE :D:D

Sunday, October 2, 2011

DON'T STOP!!!!!.....

Girl: What if a boy hugs me?
Mom: Say Don't
Girl: What if he kisses me?
Mom: Say stop.
The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!!!!!.....

God go to bathroom?

Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom?
Mom: Why? my child..
Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."

brand new red Ferrari

One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Which Is The Best Month To Get Married..?

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month 
To Get Married..? 


2nd Man: Octemb Ruary.. 


1st Man: Don't Be Silly, 
There Is No Such Month 


2nd Man: Exactly.. :) :-P

HEIGHT OF BADLUCK



HEIGHT OF BADLUCK 

Boy: Marry Me.. ? 
Girl: Do You Have A House.. ? 
Boy: No.. 
Girl: Do You Have A BMW Car.. ? 
Boy: No.. 
Girl: How Much Is Your Salary.. ? 
Boy: No Salary.. But,.. 
Girl: No But. You Have Nothing.. How Can I Marry You.?? Leave Please.!! 

Boy: (Talk To Himself) I Have One Villa, 
3 Property Lands, 
3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche.. 
Why I Still Need To Buy BMW.?! 
How Can I Get The Salary When Actually I'm The BOSS.. :P

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Go hide!

Grand father to Grand son:
Go hide!..... Your teacher is here because you bunked school today!

Grand Son:
NOOoooooo granpa.......You go and hide..!!

I told her that I'm on leave because you passed away today

GRAVITATIONAL FORCE

A student
was sleeping in class.
His head was going down
and down due to sleep.
Teacher comes and asks
... "What is this?".
Student:"GRAVITATIONAL
FORCE"!..

I FORGOT ROOM KEY IN D CAR

‎3 Frndz Living In A Room At 100th Floor Of d Buildng.

1Day Lift Was Not Workng.

So While Going Upstairs,
They Decided to Tell A Story.

1st Person Told An Action Story Up2 50th Floor,

2nd Told Comedy Story Up2 99th Floor,

3rd Told Horror Story
Which Had only 1Sentence

"I FORGOT ROOM KEY IN D CAR"

write 100 timez.


A lady broke the traffic signal...

Police :- Stop!!

Lady :- Plz let me go.I'm a teacher.

Police :- Aah,I've waited for this moment all my life. Now write...
'I'll never break signal' 100 timez..:P :P :D

Thursday, March 24, 2011

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020


It’s not impossible to witness such services in future
Keep ur records clean………!!!!!!
Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”
Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”
Customer: “It’s eh…, hold………..on……889861356102049998-45-54610″
Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu.
Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”
Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”
Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”
Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”
Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is $49.99″
Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”
Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”
Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Customer: ” What!”
Operator : “According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”
Customer: ” ????”
Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me the 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”
Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “
Customer: #>,.:’#%
Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”

Monday, January 10, 2011

........ afraid of this test :(

Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.
"Why are you crying?" Bob asked.
"I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill.
"So? Are you afraid?"
"No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.
Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"
To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"

give me all your money...


A man was walking down a street in Washington. A man walking behind him suddenly pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money, now!"
The victim said, "You can't do this to me! I'm a Congressman!"
The robber thought for a moment, then said, "In that case, give me all of MY money!"